Before We Were Strangers by Renee Carlino

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Overview:

Before We Were Strangers by Renee Carlino, published in 2015, is a lyrical, wistful second-chance romance that tugs at the heart with its exploration of lost time, artistic passion, and the haunting pull of a once-in-a-lifetime love. Set between 1990s New York and the present day, the story follows Grace and Matt—two former college sweethearts who reconnect after 15 years of silence through a Craigslist missed connection ad. Their journey is both nostalgic and emotionally charged, blending the euphoria of young love with the regret and longing of what might have been.

Book Structure:

Told primarily in Matt’s first-person POV, the novel unfolds in a dual-timeline format—moving fluidly between the vibrant, bohemian NYU days of the late ’90s and the quieter, more reflective present. The transitions between past and present are seamless, allowing readers to fall in love alongside Matt and Grace in college while aching for them in the years they spent apart. Carlino uses a journalistic style in places (Matt is a photographer), which lends the narrative an almost documentary-like intimacy.

Summary:

✅ Matt’s Quiet Regret and Yearning
Matt, once a driven photography student, now a divorced, somewhat disillusioned man working at National Geographic, finds himself haunted by “the girl with the green eyes.” His emotional arc is shaped by guilt, missed opportunities, and an aching desire to make things right.
Example: The missed connection ad is not just a plot device—it’s an act of vulnerability and hope that speaks volumes about his longing.

✅ Grace’s Silence and Sacrifice
Grace, a gifted cellist, lived a life of quiet resilience after their abrupt separation. Her decision to stay silent for so long is slowly unpacked, revealing layers of pain, betrayal, and maternal instinct.
Lesson: Love is rarely simple—especially when duty and identity are at odds.

✅ NYC as a Third Character
New York City’s gritty charm, from subway rides to late-night ramen, becomes the backdrop of their passionate, formative years. The city both unites and separates them, a metaphor for the chaos and beauty of young adulthood.
Example: Their old apartment building, still standing, becomes a symbol of permanence amid life’s impermanence.

Themes and Analysis:

?️ The Bittersweet Weight of “What If”
Carlino captures the unique ache of meeting “the one” at the wrong time. The novel explores how love can endure through decades of silence, heartbreak, and personal evolution.

? Art as Memory and Healing
Grace’s cello and Matt’s photography serve as emotional anchors throughout the novel. Their art is not just their career—it’s how they process love, loss, and longing.

? Coming of Age Across Decades
Before We Were Strangers blurs the line between a college romance and an adult love story. It asks whether we can ever return to the people we once were—or whether love evolves with us.

Writing Style:

Renée Carlino’s prose is hauntingly beautiful, with a lyrical fluidity that captures the essence of yearning. Her dialogue is natural and emotionally charged, while her descriptions of New York and the art world immerse readers in both memory and mood. The narrative voice—especially Matt’s—is thoughtful, raw, and poetic, drawing readers into every fragment of regret and hope.

Cultural Impact:

Though more quietly received than blockbuster romances, Before We Were Strangers has developed a cult following among fans of emotional second-chance love stories. Its Missed Connection premise has inspired real-life stories and is often shared on BookTok as one of the most heartbreakingly romantic novels of the decade. It’s particularly praised for its honest portrayal of time’s impact on love and identity.

Strengths:

✅ Gorgeously written with poetic flair
✅ Deep emotional core—especially around timing and fate
✅ Authentic portrayal of NYC as setting and symbol
✅ A rare male POV in romance that’s heartfelt and nuanced
✅ Emotional payoff that feels earned and cathartic

Criticism:

❌ Some may find the early romance overly idealized
❌ The middle section slows slightly during the backstory buildup
❌ Certain twists feel a bit too convenient (especially involving long-lost secrets)
❌ Grace’s silence for 15 years might feel hard to justify for some readers

Conclusion:

Before We Were Strangers is a soulful, deeply romantic exploration of missed chances and the magnetic pull of a love that never really left. With poignant prose, memorable characters, and a story structure that mirrors the fragmented nature of memory, Renée Carlino crafts a novel that lingers long after the final page. For anyone who’s ever wondered, “What if we’d met at a different time?”—this is the kind of love story that proves some connections never truly fade.